Things might seem tough and sometimes almost impossible to overcome – bills piling up and finances never seem to be enough….. But at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is the little one whose comfort and dependence of you is overwhelming.
And when this little one then lies with a fever and crying out in pain, all you can do is hold her, comfort her with soft words and a voice filled with love. With her in my arms I need no more….
But reality comes back with bills, work and normal routines and questions popping up from everywhere asking you to take a stand all the time. This time, however, I’ve decided not to go back to that reality in the same way as before. You can ask me a question, but I cannot promise that I’ll answer – you can tell me to take a stand, but I cannot be sure that I’ll know what to do.
I feel lost and insecure, and tired, VERY tired, and hoping this will not affect the life of my daughter and myself too much, I’ve decided that for now she and I are the only two people that matter. It might be so for a few days, a few weeks or months, I cannot say it, but I don’t feel the urge to pick up the phone and call a friend and blur out with whatever it is I’m thinking of. This time it goes deeper and might be what I’ve been “preparing” for since we moved back to Denmark.
I owe it to myself, my daughter and those of you who are close to me to do it right this time. To take the required time and fill out the blanks before I continue down the road I’ve started.
Looking around I see some amazing people who are there for me ready to back me up and help me take the next steps on this road. I really hope you guys know how much I appreciate you being there. This is, however, something I need to do myself – it will help me knowing you are there, but I will have to look inwards and find the answers myself without discussing any of it with someone.
So these lines are simply to let you know that I’m still here, but if you wonder why I’m not calling you, texting you, writing loads of updates on FB, well, I’ve decided to take a timeout from all of you to find the calm that I need to make my life work and give my darling daughter what we need to have a well-balanced life.
Feel free to send a few words/lines now and again, but I cannot promise that I will answer you right away…
And so, I send you L-O-V-E!!