Most of my adult life I've been called the eternal teenager and lived with it. I've been through hell and back, I've become a mother, and I've taken life-changing decisions in my usual impulsive way, but it seems something's happened underway.....
This little girl has actually grown and matured, it seems, and it has now started to show... Don't worry, I'll always be me, but it seems that my way of handling a lot of things in my life has improved (in my mother's words!), and in particular my way of handling emotional situations has grown!
Don't misunderstand me - I'll always be the overwhelming, loving and caring me, and I will always tend to say and do foolish things, but when it comes down to situations where I'm forced to act on deep emotions, no matter what kind of emotional situation it is, I have started to react with much more depth and thought
I know that age will also catch up with me and influence my way of doing things, but I also believe it has to do with the people I'm surrounded by. People who give me room and possibility to look inwards and find strength in me even more. I still tend to put myself in, well maybe not impossible, but at least challenging situations in all aspects of life, and I still believe in my own naive way that everything will work out one way or the other. Still, the way I believe in me and the decisions I take, no matter how impossible a situation I'm in, has grown quite a lot over the last years.
Lately, I've found myself making decisions, I wouldn't have dreamt of making just a year ago. One example is how I made a decision on quitting my lovely job in Lund, not only putting myself out on the market with a LOT of jobseekers in a pressed reality, but very much also leaving people behind that had made my professional life (and private as it turns out) quite wonderful. But I knew it had to be done, and it felt right - and it turned out to be the right time as well...
The decision to stay in a relationship with high risk (or chance?) that it might end being a long-distance relationship although the mere thought of it hurt. But as it grew inside of me, I knew that if I followed my gut feeling, it would be right. A short while ago, things were very down, but for the first timer ever, I decided to do the right thing for me and not beg for anything. And probably the most important fact in the entire decision for me: I knew that even if it would break up everything, it might hurt, but I would have been true to me, and he would have lost one unique girl!!
As it turned out, I found myself confirmed in the strong relationship we have, and a feeling of high hopes for a happy future although with many miles between us
So today, I want you to remember, the importance of being true to yourself and respect yourself. Respect is something we should have for people around us, but it is just as important to have it for yourself and the person you are. Once you respect yourself, the respect around you will also be more visible. I have respect for me, and I know that you guys around me respect me, even when I make you shake your heads. Respect is an important cornerstone in any kind of relation you have with other people and should be something you always carry with you.
Therefore, this one is for you - you, whom I love and care about; you who are in my life and make a difference to me; you who take time to be with me either face-to-face or by any electronic way you can. I respect and love you, and I'm happy you have helped me be who I am to day
I send you R-E-S-P-E-C-T!
Hugs & kisses,