Mamma B's Kitchen

Mamma B's Kitchen

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Just say "no"

HovedretOprettet af Birgitte Kratgaard 26 feb, 2012 08:35:26

Sometimes I’m really provoked by people who ignore me instead of being honest and say how they feel or what they want/not want!!! smiley I mean, haven’t we all been in the situation at least once, where we are going somewhere, meeting someone and actually feel more like staying at home just being alone? Well, I know I have, and although it may not be the easiest thing to say, I’ve learned that telling the truth is far better than anything else.

Years ago I found it very difficult and instead I used an excuse that was – at least I thought so! – OK; saying that I was down with a migraine and had to cancel. Actually, I often ended up with a migraine probably because it bothered me more than I was aware that I wasn’t completely honest. And at some point I finally realised that telling the truth would be the best.

In the beginning it was difficult. And I had to learn to be a little more diplomatic when cancelling arrangements. Several friends became angry with me in the beginning, when I cancelled a dinner or coffee or whatever we had planned saying that I really needed to be alone. It was as if they had found it more acceptable that I stay away because of a migraine than because I needed to be on my own.

But today it works. Not that I actually cancel a lot of social arrangements because I need to be alone. Instead, I’ve become very good at making “me” time in my daily schedule and thus not have as many arrangements. And when I cancel something due to migraine it is actually because I have a migraine.

Still, I find myself being provoked to almost extremes when someone in my surroundings avoids telling the truth by ignoring me!!! One thing is if you tell a little white lie because you find it hard to tell the truth, but just ignoring me and not saying anything although I have a very strong feeling that something is going on, well that really makes me angry!! smiley How can it be so difficult just saying “no, right now I don’t want to see you – I need to be alone”??

What is it about choosing your own company instead of friends’ or family’s now and again that is not acceptable? Why is that not as acceptable as saying it is because you’re sick? Today, we live in a world where everything has to be at high speed – you have to answer a text message or mail fast; you always carry your cell in order to answer any call any time. And I would say that particularly in a world where a lot are down with stress it should be more than acceptable to chose your own company and relax from time to time. But it seems as if we’re still not quite there.

I hope you guys know that I’d prefer a “no” from you any time instead of you being stressed and not finding time to be just you. Honesty among friends should not be anything you even think about – if you need to be alone, we can always have that coffee or whatever another day. Your well-being comes first – and I would never be hurt by the fact that you take care of yourselves. If only a lot more people did that.... smiley

And so, I – as always – end today’s scrabble reminding you that life is short and you never know what tomorrow brings. Remember to tell the people you love how you feel, and don’t forget that you are important too and thus you should take care of yourselves. When I need time alone it is never because I don’t want to be with you, but because I need to find the energy in me to be present when I’m with you.

With these words I send you LOVE smiley

Mamma B smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley

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